In this episode, we speak with science teacher Kerrie McFadden, who also has multiple sclerosis, about dealing with ageism and how women are treated in society, especially when they are perceived to be older because of factors like disability or greying hair.
The invisible woman project funded by our social enterprise's impact program promotes awareness and actions for women and gender-diverse people. To age with dignity, security, and safety. Find out more on justgoldwomen.net or on our socials @justgoldwomen.
Hosted by Voula Stamatakis
Edited and produced by Carley Bishop
This is a Just Gold podcast.
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[00:00:00] Carley Bishop: This is a just gold podcast.
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[00:00:03] Carley Bishop: Captured on the lands of the peoples of the east Eastern Kulin nation. We pay our respects to their elders past, present and emerging.
[00:00:25] In this episode of The Invisible Woman, we speak with science teacher Kerrie McFadden, who also has multiples sclerosis. Kerrie talks to us about how disability can add to the issue of invisibility when women get to 50 or even at a younger age.
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[00:00:45] Voula Stamatakis: Mm-hmm. . . Thank you Carrie, for coming. No worries. We are discussing today about the, about women becoming invisible when they hit 50, a global phenomenon.
[00:00:54] Are women becoming invisible? What is your opinion?
[00:00:57] Kerrie McFadden: Yes, absolutely. So I had a bit of an experience of that recently. So I have multiple sclerosis, I have a little bit of a MO mobility issue, but I dye my hair and so I decided that I'd go to my natural color because it's a lovely pearly white.
[00:01:10] So that's fine. Everyone at works go, oh, your hair looks nice. But when I was out and about, it was, Overnight the, I was just invisible, absolutely invisible. Like people would bump into me. You would ask for a service. Figure nails done something like that. Really get poorly done because they weren't listening to what you're asking for.
[00:01:30] It was like your brains had disappeared, you had no value and no one could see you. And that was just like overnight because I had changed the color of my hair. It wasn't so bad if I was using my groovy motorized. with Batmobile on the back. But if I was using a stick or a walker, which is perceived as an older person thing, it was absolutely flabbergasting.
[00:01:53] So in order to get proper service and have people listen to me, I had to go back and dye my hair, which was, yeah, it sounds frightening. It was like, it was devastating and I felt like I was giving in. So it's this isn't really me. I don't wanna, I wanna be an authentic person, but I.
[00:02:11] because, yeah. So that was a bit of a shock, .
[00:02:15] Voula Stamatakis: Well, Yes it is. So do you sense this though, in a wider aspect that women are becoming invisible after 50? Yes. Or do you think it may start even sooner?
[00:02:29] Kerrie McFadden: I, I think it just depends on, he, it's based on looks really, it's just how you look, which is, I guess the same for.
[00:02:38] through the ages. But yeah, if you are if you're all doll up, your hair's nice, got the heels on, you can get away with it, no worries. But if you are, yeah. If you are just, outta the garden, gone into go shopping or whatever, no lippy, then yeah, you definitely are invisible for sure.
[00:02:55] Voula Stamatakis: So through your profession, do you know any stories of women that in the working environment, they.
[00:03:02] Slowly invisible.
[00:03:03] Kerrie McFadden: When you're in a work environment and you are known that it's not such a problem because you can be judged on your abilities and your strength, and of course as you get older you have a lot more strengths and wisdom and patience. So there's plenty of blessings about getting older.
[00:03:19] One that you're still hear. So that's a big one, . But you know, You've got all that experience. You're not gonna sweat the small staff and you're pretty. So I'd never really noticed it when I was working. As I said, my, my colleagues said, oh, they love the white hair. And a few of them did start to stop dying their hair.
[00:03:37] They've been inspired, but it's when you change workplaces and people don't yet know you and they make assumptions about you. So I've noticed that having recently changed the work, .
[00:03:49] Voula Stamatakis: Okay. So they say that the four Ds are some of the reasons that a woman can become invisible. The five Ds, sorry. So the Ds disability.
[00:04:02] Yep. Divorce, death of a partner, domestic violence or the death dollars. Do you agree? Yes. With all this?
[00:04:09] Kerrie McFadden: Definitely. Yes. So you mentioned the disability part. Yeah. But yeah, so basically I, my. Exhilarated aging. So that , so I I get to see a head of, what's in store for everybody else. But yeah, I'm up with my partner, but I have seen friends who are divorced or widowed and all of a sudden you're just, it's awkward.
[00:04:29] You know what, it's a couple's world and you're a woman and you're older, what do you do? Yeah. So that definitely and of course the disa. Finances. That's massive. Like I've seen a lot of that. People, their choices and options are gone. And it's, of course, it's the women, if you leave a relationship, you're not gonna have much money.
[00:04:50] You've spent time rearing children, your super's not as good. Yeah, and I've said that with my own super, it's like, it's not nearly as good as my husband. so lucky for him. I'm not planning on leaving him this week , but if I did, it would be difficult because he has, a much better super than me.
[00:05:09] So you could see why that would keep people there. You just, haven't got the economic ability to leave. Yeah. So what would your advice be to women to stay. , ah, throughout the years? It depend, depends how authentic you wanna be. So do you wanna play the game? If you wanna play the game, then you have to put the makeup on and the hair and whatever.
[00:05:31] And the other thing is once you are, if you're with people who know you, then it's okay. You can just bit by bit. They will see if what for your worth. But it's really hard. I remember. Told me I was a woke old boomer because , I was in a shop and the assistant wasn't talking to anyone this way.
[00:05:52] She just said to me, darling, are you all right dear? Are you all right? And I just ignored her. I was looking at things, thought, oh, I'm not gonna answer to that. And anyway, she said it again dear, are you all right? And so I was a bit rude and I turned around. I said, oh, sorry, I thought you were talking to a child.
[00:06:10] No, I'm good. Anyway, , I thought, let's just use humor and educate someone. But yeah, no, I got a lot of backlash. Bool Boomer. Yep. So it's difficult. You, if you stand up for yourself, that's not gonna go well either. I don't know what the answer is. I, it's when people don't know you, it's when you're in a unknown situation in a shop or a medical services, I've had.
[00:06:33] A nurse asked me, how are you going to get home dear? She would've been my age and I said, I'll be driving myself. . So yeah it's, I dunno how you change it, but it definitely needs to change cuz there's all those people out there with skills and so much to give. But, it's devastating after you've been part of a workforce and you've contributed so much and all of a sudden your voice is not.
[00:06:59] Kerrie McFadden: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:07:00] Voula Stamatakis: As if you're disappearing. So
[00:07:01] Kerrie McFadden: yeah, it is definitely as if you're disappearing and as I said, when my hair went white people would physically walk into me, they would bump into me. I was so shocked. So I was absolutely not there. Yeah. Yeah, that was very humbling. Yeah. Do you think that the digital literacy plays a significant role when you're changing careers and.
[00:07:23] From a mother going back to the workforce because the technology is jumping. It's not just progressing. So we find it that it's hard to get back because you are left behind. Yeah. And this is involving so quickly from me. So when I first left teaching to have the children, no computers, just electric typewriters, that was really wizzy.
[00:07:47] And then when I came back to teaching, there was computers everywhere. So it was like, , but I just happened to have that. I was just lucky to have that ability to problem solve. But people will assume that you don't have any computer literacy. So if I go to check in with a QR code, so many people will say, are you right?
[00:08:06] Would you like me to do that? And it's really hard not to hit them. If I report a technical issue with the computer, they'll say, oh, did you try this? You don't like, pretty much the it. crowd, did you turn on? Not on off. It's yes, I've done this, I've done this, I've done this. So they'll assume yeah, that you don't know anything.
[00:08:23] So for me, I was lucky because I had to learn and because I was learning I found that was the way you, the more you look for a question or an answer to your question, the more you learn about computer. So it's just my natural aptitude. But it is very frustrating people when people assume that you don't know.
[00:08:42] The computer. And I remember at my previous school I was wanting to use some program and one of the younger teachers says, but I dunno how to use that. I go, yeah, no. And that's when you first start. And they said, no, we can't. We can't cuz we dunno how to use it. So yeah, that was quite an interesting mindset.
[00:09:02] Yeah. Yes. So I think older women actually are probably very good at problem solving and working around things. You're not getting any stronger, so you gotta work a way to get jars open, lift things navigate park find a safe spot to park. So I think there's all that problem solving. It's underestimated as well.
[00:09:19] Voula Stamatakis: Thank you so much for being with us today. No worries. For your wonderful insight. Thank you. You're welcome. .
[00:09:25] Carley Bishop: The invisible woman project funded by our social enterprises impact program promotes awareness and actions for women and gender diverse people. To age with dignity, security, and safety. Find out more on justgoldwomen.net or on our socials justgoldwomen