In this episode of The Invisible Woman podcast, we speak to teacher and business owner Sue Stevenson. Sue shares with us her story of life after the death of her partner, and what she does to stay visible.
The invisible woman project funded by our social enterprise's impact program promotes awareness and actions for women and gender-diverse people. To age with dignity, security, and safety. Find out more on justgoldwomen.net or on our socials @justgoldwomen.
Hosted by Voula Stamatakis
Edited and produced by Carley Bishop
This is a Just Gold podcast.
[00:00:00] Carley Bishop: This is a just gold podcast.
[00:00:03]
[00:00:03] Carley Bishop: Captured on the lands of the peoples of the east Eastern Kulin nation. We pay our respects to their elders past, present and emerging. (introduction)
[00:00:27] In this episode, we speak with teacher and business owner Sue Stevenson. We ask Sue if she thinks women are becoming invisible as they age.
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[00:00:38] Sue Stevenson: I think it's very easy for women to become invisible as they get older. Speaking from experience, as a mum of twins as you are tending to their needs and running around at the same time, running a business. Which I worked with with my husband, that you tend to lose yourself along the way and probably don't bother to get out and do the networking and the connectedness.
[00:01:01] And, get out and see people as much as you probably could rather than should, and I think, so it's pretty easy to lose yourself in that. My husband had an accident in 2014, so after that, Lots of hospital visits, getting the boys sorted running the business at the same time.
[00:01:20] So very much, it was all about everybody else and less about me. So I feel that I have become slightly invisible.
[00:01:27] Voula Stamatakis: So this is one of the Ds. We have five Ds that one woman becomes invisible. One is disability, the second is divorce. The third is the death of a partner. . The fourth is domestic.
[00:01:40] And the last one is the death of dollars when you don't have a lot of money. So what's your
[00:01:46] Sue Stevenson: case? So my case, my husband died in October last year. And I have been working probably for the last, say, four and a half years in contract employment. So I closed our company down and because I needed to be around for him and for the boys and everything, just got some contract.
[00:02:05] which is really interesting cuz then you lose your work family because you come in and become part of a an organization for a short part of time and then, you leave again. And, to get that first job, probably, I'm gonna say about four and a half years ago I probably applied for close to 140 jobs and in the end had to change my resume so it didn't look like I'd been around for such a long time and done so many.
[00:02:26] And there was a lovely lady who took a chance on me and I became a receptionist in one of our hotels here in the city. A great job until Covid hit and then had to go and look for something else. Yeah, so the death of a partner really does change a look at things, I was very lucky that, financially I used to do all the bills and everything anyway, so I could do all of those things.
[00:02:46] But now, without that partner that I've worked with for. 40 something years and in business for nearly 30 of those. It's redefining and working out who you are and what you like and what you don't like, and becoming less invisible and putting yourself out there.
[00:03:05] Voula Stamatakis: So what were the skills that you needed to revisit again to become visible, you found during this journey?
[00:03:15] Sue Stevenson: I think it's, so the skills are just support. Oh, support. Yeah. I think what I've just started working out, so I have actually quit my job, which I finished last week.
[00:03:29] That was taking up a lot of time and I, that wasn't allowing me to do what I think I want to do. And then I've started putting myself out there. So I've been to Toastmasters, I've been to Rotary. I'm volunteering with story Dogs. So I take the dog into the local primary school and the kids read to her.
[00:03:46] I've become a member of Global Gardens of Peace where we raise money to make gardens for vulnerable communities. you really have to just put yourself out there and just work out what it is that you wanna be and become involved in the community again, cuz it's really easy to stay at home and think, oh, I can't be bothered.
[00:04:04] So you really have to, I found, I really had to make the effort to get out there and try and find some new interests and new hobbies.
[00:04:11] I wanted to ask about the feelings. Did you need any support? I would feel that I'm not worthy.
[00:04:16] Voula Stamatakis: What's going on? What changed so much? Would you need, or did you felt that you needed support in a psychological or, or a specialist to help you seek things clearer, maybe
[00:04:28] Sue Stevenson: . I think it's really important that you do have some support.
[00:04:31] After my husband had an accident, he was quadriplegic wasn't able to live at home, but I could go and spend a lot of time with him and he's always been extremely supportive of everything that I've done so, He was a bit of a captured market really. So he, was great to sit down and bounce ideas off and actually give me that encouragement and, remind me of all the things that I've done in the past and that, I'm worthy of having a job and all of those tonics and things.
[00:04:56] So it's really important to get some support. I have some wonderful girlfriends as well. Some from high school, which was a few years ago now. And others from, teachers college. We don't see each other all the time, we just ring and check in on each other and see how we're going and then, catch up for lunch as well, which is always good.
[00:05:12] Just to make sure,
[00:05:12] you know,
[00:05:13] we're all okay and I think that's really something as women, we are all quite supportive of each other and even if it's just a, hello, how are you? It's just great to be connected to other people and to hear their stories as. .
[00:05:27] Voula Stamatakis: What will your advice be to other women to stay visible?
[00:05:31] Sue Stevenson: My advice to stay visible is to. It's not being selfish, but to think more about yourself, don't put everybody else before you and to just take some time, work out what it is that you like to do and, be connected to other people and to keep your skills going and, just get out there.
[00:05:49] And that is a push because you do get caught up in everything else, but it's
[00:05:54] so,
[00:05:54] so, so,
[00:05:55] Sue Stevenson: important to, to put yourself out there and have interests, you
[00:05:59] know,
[00:05:59] Sue Stevenson: outside your family, outside your business.
[00:06:01] Carley Bishop: The invisible woman project funded by our social enterprises impact program promotes awareness and actions for women and gender diverse people. To age with dignity, security, and safety. Find out more on justgoldwomen.net or on our socials justgoldwomen